The famous quote that has been a very accurate analysis of the majority of men’s lives.

There’s a reason men and women are both drawn to bad boys, criminals and those who go their own way in life. It’s because we all wish we could live this way and therefore respect those who do.

Bonnie and Clyde became hero’s not because they were particularly special or doing anything that would help millions of people, but because they symbolised anti-establishment and something different to the boring daily norm that so many of us live through. It’s why we love watching films/Series like Lawless, Peaky Blinders or Power.

 

mass of men live quiet lives of desperation

 

Quiet Lives of Desperation

 

What is meant by this quote? Many people believe it links to materialistic assets and how men use them to mask the dullness of everyday life. This is somewhat true, but it misses the modern take on this point.

 

The 3 M’s

Marriage, mortgage and maternity. Or in other words; £40k, £50k and £250k.

The average man has the most sex of his life at 27. By 35 he’s married, has a mortgage (a glorified loan) and kids, seeing him kiss goodbye to around half of the money he’ll ever earn.

This is where the “quiet lives of desperation” part kicks in.

I believe that society is set up in such a way that suits women far greater than men.

In centuries gone by men were cowboys, bandits, alcohol smugglers, pirates, invaders, explorers and more. Today we’re accountants, finance managers and quality controllers. No disrespect to the job titles mentioned, but it’s hardly sailing across the sea’s getting drunk, stealing and fighting. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but the movie Fight Club would suggest deep down otherwise.

Sit any woman down and ask about her ambitions; A vast majority would say mortgage, marriage and children by age 30 or something along those lines.

Ask a man the same question and you’ll get one of two responses; Those who tell you the truth and those who go along with societies norms. The men going along with societies norms will give a similar response to the women, but they won’t know why, it’s almost like programming.

The men who tell you the truth will speak about topics that really motivate men, such as exploring the world, sleeping with an abundance of beautiful women, being rich, owning nice stuff and having fun with their friends.

Men simply aren’t built to go down the route of the 3 M’s, it doesn’t take a genius to understand this. 99% of men openly admit that they’re unhappily married, or they’ve never got any money because of the kids etc. It tends to end with a split where the man loses over half of what he owns and gets painted as the bad guy. However here’s where it gets really interesting, the men who experience these unfortunate events tend to be happier in the majority of circumstances. They’ve just lost their wife, house, 60% of their wealth and yet their happier?

Why? Because the 3 M’s isn’t a natural route for men to go down. They’re very much female wants and needs. Stability, familiarity, structure and a support unit. This is very much a gathers mindset. But men are traditionally hunters. Our masculine energy wants us to go out into the world and accomplish, discover and conquer. Mortgage, marriage and kids is the opposite of this.

 

Tied Down

Once the 3 M’s have consumed a man and create a life he didn’t really want, the depression and lack of freedom begins to kick in, suffocating him each day as he seeks a release. Some cheat, many go to the bar after work, many find solace in sports/supporting a team and some do things far worse.

Time and time again this story repeats itself;

Man is having the time of his life, meets a woman, settles down and changes his ways because it’s the correct thing to do. Saves his money for a mortgage, again because it’s the right thing to do, follows this up with a marriage and kids to seal the society approval deal.

Years later he’s stuck in a rut, looking for anything that can add value and excitement to his life. He has less money available than ever after bills, the woman he married he doesn’t find attractive anymore and the kids are the only reason keeping them together. His day consists of sitting in traffic, listening to the same songs/radio station, wearing a suit and tie to a job he hates where his boss is on his case. He can’t leave that job because he has a family relying on him and bills to pay. He can’t enjoy weekends because his kids have filled them up with activities and birthday parties.

In reality, he dreams about sleeping with the secretary at work, or every woman he see’s that’s hotter than his wife, he wishes he could run away sell the house and buy an expensive sports car and an irresponsible bachelors pad with high dangerous not suitable for kids balconies as far away from the family based suburbs as possible.

But he doesn’t. He stays at his job, he pays his bills on time, takes care of family chores, argues with his wife every night about trivial subjects such as washing up, masturbates everyday and silently goes through life desperately holding onto an existence he used to call his own.

The truth is, no man in their right mind would live the way the majority of us live. But somehow we all end up at the same destination; Fed up at 40 thinking about what we should have done/the decisions we should have made.

We suffer in silence because talking about what we really want would see us labelled immature, selfish or disgusting. Instead we decide to live on supporting our families and perhaps make a single purchase for ourselves to add some light to an otherwise dull life; A sports car. However this phase gets tagged as a midlife crisis and completely ignored as a giant cry for help.

The biggest killer of men under 50 is suicide. Seeing as most men are unhappy living out a life they have zero control over and aren’t allowed to openly express how they feel, it’s not hard to see why.

THE MASS OF MEN LIVE QUIET LIVES OF DESPERATION!

 

Author Bio

Kris Sturmey

Kris Sturmey

Founder

Kris is a men’s expert with 7 years of experience within the men’s lifestyle game and is also the founder of 1STMAN based in London, UK.

Prior to starting Msicollege and 1STMAN Kris was a personal trainer, body language expert and men’s coach.

Learn more about Kris in our about section and founder profile.

The famous quote that has been a very accurate analysis of the majority of men’s lives.

There’s a reason men and women are both drawn to bad boys, criminals and those who go their own way in life. It’s because we all wish we could live this way and therefore respect those who do.

Bonnie and Clyde became hero’s not because they were particularly special or doing anything that would help millions of people, but because they symbolised anti-establishment and something different to the boring daily norm that so many of us live through. It’s why we love watching films/Series like Lawless, Peaky Blinders or Power.

 

mass of men live quiet lives of desperation

 

Quiet Lives of Desperation

 

What is meant by this quote? Many people believe it links to materialistic assets and how men use them to mask the dullness of everyday life. This is somewhat true, but it misses the modern take on this point.

 

The 3 M’s

Marriage, mortgage and maternity. Or in other words; £40k, £50k and £250k.

The average man has the most sex of his life at 27. By 35 he’s married, has a mortgage (a glorified loan) and kids, seeing him kiss goodbye to around half of the money he’ll ever earn.

This is where the “quiet lives of desperation” part kicks in.

I believe that society is set up in such a way that suits women far greater than men.

In centuries gone by men were cowboys, bandits, alcohol smugglers, pirates, invaders, explorers and more. Today we’re accountants, finance managers and quality controllers. No disrespect to the job titles mentioned, but it’s hardly sailing across the sea’s getting drunk, stealing and fighting. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but the movie Fight Club would suggest deep down otherwise.

Sit any woman down and ask about her ambitions; A vast majority would say mortgage, marriage and children by age 30 or something along those lines.

Ask a man the same question and you’ll get one of two responses; Those who tell you the truth and those who go along with societies norms. The men going along with societies norms will give a similar response to the women, but they won’t know why, it’s almost like programming.

The men who tell you the truth will speak about topics that really motivate men, such as exploring the world, sleeping with an abundance of beautiful women, being rich, owning nice stuff and having fun with their friends.

Men simply aren’t built to go down the route of the 3 M’s, it doesn’t take a genius to understand this. 99% of men openly admit that they’re unhappily married, or they’ve never got any money because of the kids etc. It tends to end with a split where the man loses over half of what he owns and gets painted as the bad guy. However here’s where it gets really interesting, the men who experience these unfortunate events tend to be happier in the majority of circumstances. They’ve just lost their wife, house, 60% of their wealth and yet their happier?

Why? Because the 3 M’s isn’t a natural route for men to go down. They’re very much female wants and needs. Stability, familiarity, structure and a support unit. This is very much a gathers mindset. But men are traditionally hunters. Our masculine energy wants us to go out into the world and accomplish, discover and conquer. Mortgage, marriage and kids is the opposite of this.

 

Tied Down

Once the 3 M’s have consumed a man and create a life he didn’t really want, the depression and lack of freedom begins to kick in, suffocating him each day as he seeks a release. Some cheat, many go to the bar after work, many find solace in sports/supporting a team and some do things far worse.

Time and time again this story repeats itself;

Man is having the time of his life, meets a woman, settles down and changes his ways because it’s the correct thing to do. Saves his money for a mortgage, again because it’s the right thing to do, follows this up with a marriage and kids to seal the society approval deal.

Years later he’s stuck in a rut, looking for anything that can add value and excitement to his life. He has less money available than ever after bills, the woman he married he doesn’t find attractive anymore and the kids are the only reason keeping them together. His day consists of sitting in traffic, listening to the same songs/radio station, wearing a suit and tie to a job he hates where his boss is on his case. He can’t leave that job because he has a family relying on him and bills to pay. He can’t enjoy weekends because his kids have filled them up with activities and birthday parties.

In reality, he dreams about sleeping with the secretary at work, or every woman he see’s that’s hotter than his wife, he wishes he could run away sell the house and buy an expensive sports car and an irresponsible bachelors pad with high dangerous not suitable for kids balconies as far away from the family based suburbs as possible.

But he doesn’t. He stays at his job, he pays his bills on time, takes care of family chores, argues with his wife every night about trivial subjects such as washing up, masturbates everyday and silently goes through life desperately holding onto an existence he used to call his own.

The truth is, no man in their right mind would live the way the majority of us live. But somehow we all end up at the same destination; Fed up at 40 thinking about what we should have done/the decisions we should have made.

We suffer in silence because talking about what we really want would see us labelled immature, selfish or disgusting. Instead we decide to live on supporting our families and perhaps make a single purchase for ourselves to add some light to an otherwise dull life; A sports car. However this phase gets tagged as a midlife crisis and completely ignored as a giant cry for help.

The biggest killer of men under 50 is suicide. Seeing as most men are unhappy living out a life they have zero control over and aren’t allowed to openly express how they feel, it’s not hard to see why.

THE MASS OF MEN LIVE QUIET LIVES OF DESPERATION!

Author Bio

Kris Sturmey

Kris Sturmey

Founder

Kris is a men’s expert with 6 years of experience within the men’s lifestyle game and is also the founder of 1STMAN based in London, UK.

Prior to starting Msicollege and 1STMAN Kris was a personal trainer, body language expert and men’s coach.

Learn more about Kris in our about section and founder profile.